MOVING TO NEW SITE


I just wanted to let everyone know that I am not missing, instead I have ventured into the wonderful world of my own website!

http://www.craftyartistkc.com is now live. Although it is not completed, I am slowly transitioning my posts over to the new site. Please please please go check it out and subscribe via email. I will be adding a lot more ways to follow me, but for now, please subscribe via email.

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Look Beyond Yourself


I saved your child on the playground

While watching mine have a blast,

I smile and nod when your child told you,

When you come around at last.

I picked up what you dropped before me,

You didn’t give it a second thought,

You just kept walking away clueless,

With your mind on what you haven’t bought.

I actively listened to you on your time,

When you’ve experienced injustice,

When your day is the worst you’ve had,

And today more than before you’re pissed.

I add-on more tasks than I can handle,

Because only I can do them right,

You pile the work on top of my stack,

Because you know I don’t put up a fight.

But who is watching my kids,

When I need adult interaction.

Who picks up after me,

If I space out in action,

Who is there to listen to my thoughts,

When I feel so close to breaking down,

Who can I delegate tasks to,

Without making a inconvenienced sound.

You see someone put together,

You think everything is just fine.

But if you took the time to look closer,

You would see me slowly dying

So when you have someone on your life,

That constantly gives all they’ve got,

Make sure you help refill their tank,

Before one day you find their not.

I wrote this poem this morning. I look around me at people who try their best to be everything to everyone. They want to make sure that everyone is taken care of. They wouldn’t allow someone to feel bad because of them. They have such a high amount of Empathy, that they are often forgotten, swept under a rug or take advantage of.

So I wrote this to ask you to just look beyond your own circle. Find these people in your life and make sure you tell them how important they are. Make it your priority to build up the people around you and actively listen when someone is in need.

Have you ever felt like this?

Depression and Anxiety are real.


Depression and anxiety are two things that a lot of people don’t understand can go hand in hand. I may seem outgoing and happy, but dying on the inside. I love having people over to my house, but it is nearly impossible to get me to go party anywhere else. I’ve made my environment comfortable and to step out always causes such anxiety.

I wrote this poem the other day. Its something that has been gradually coming to me. It almost dictates how someone with depression and anxiety may feel overwhelmed by circumstance. I have days where I wanna be left alone, but I don’t ever want to feel lonely. There is a difference.

 

Just Leave Me Alone
Do you ever feel like you need to get away

from the hustle and bustle and day-to-day?

Do you ever want to push everyone further,

and inside yourself, crawl and whither?

Do you ever love your family so deep,

That you try to save them from this heap?

A heavy burden your carry within your heart,

so heavy from inside it rips you apart?

Leave me be, don’t come any closer,

The anxiety runs over me like a dozer.

The intensity of co-existing with another,

Is too much to take, I feel smothered.

Inside the quiet space, I’ve made for my mind,

Is the only sanity, I fear I can find.

I’m screaming inside, do you hear that?

The pressure is holding me down flat.

I can’t breathe, I can’t make a complete thought,

The darkness is overwhelming making me rot,

Let me fight this insanity in my solitude,

Or inside me will grow this feud,

And overwhelm me until I expire,

Maybe only that will put out this fire.

I encourage you to listen to those around you. I’ve heard that it is often most the happiest people around you that have the worst battle with depression. Sometimes a little compassion can go a long way.

Just as a disclaimer: I am not suicidal, nor do I wish to perish. Its my belief that everyone has a battle with darkness inside them and how you decide to fight that battle is as individualized with the battle itself. We all need a moment to be ourselves in the still, in the quiet.

Do you suffer with depression and anxiety? Do you know someone who does? Do you have any tips or pointers on how to deal with stress playing a role in the severity of that suffering? Comment below and lets help the world become a better place together.

The Holistic Story Teller


I know this guy that grew up in the same small town I did. He is a writer, and a good one at that. He started a website called the Holistic Story Teller. He responds quickly when you email him, and he really believes in his cause.

His website Holistic Story Teller is a wonderful place where you can get pointers on how to write better and he shares personal stories of triumph and woes as he goes through this journey. I’m a huge believer in supporting the little guys. The people that just want to help others. For this reason, I have no problem advertising on his behalf, even though he hasn’t asked me to.

He is starting his first 5 Day Challenge to help others become better writers. I’ve already learned so much from him. I wanted to shout out to my followers and fellow blogists the link so you can join his challenge as well. Its 5 days and its free.

Here is the link if you are interested.

So, here is what I would love to do for him. Please sign up for the challenge yourself. What do you have to lose? The best thing , besides all the amazing education you’ll gain, is that it is free. After you sign up for the challenge, leave a comment on this post to let me know you signed up.

Zentangled Paradox


Paradox

I am gonna share with you a poem I wrote over 10 years ago. When I was just trying to figure it all out. I thought this drawing went well with it because it to is confusing yet beautiful.

There is something in my head, but I can’t figure it out,

Am I losing control, I want to stand and shout,

Or is that really what my heart desires,

Or am I simply fueled by the fires,

Of anger and frustration that is held within,

I can’t believe that I’ve been stretched this thin,

My body is telling me that I had better stop,

Before my juice runs out and over uncontrolled I flop.

Am I really this tired or is it all in my mind,

I feel something’s missing, something I can’t find,

A lot of things go wrong and yet, so much is right,

Is what I’m really feeling deep inside fright?

All of these feelings just can’t be let loose,

Am I a loser, a freak, or at the end, the caboose.

What is it? What wants to take control?

I wish I could walk through my mind on patrol.

Does this make sense or have I lost you?

The confusion overwhelms me, I just might turn blue

in the face from holding it all inside.

Is there someone in my life in whom I can confide?

I know there is someone, but would they really care?

Do I let them know my secret, Do I really dare?

Not that the secret is bad, but that its really this,

I have so much in my head, so much that they all miss.

My mind is cluttered it needs to be organized.

Maybe when I feel this way, they’ve got me hypnotized.

Can they really handle every feeling that I have?

Sad? Happy? Frustration? All together drive me mad!

What am I doing spilling all my guts,

No one can heal me from all these deep cuts.

So many in my heart, and yet you’ll not see any scars.

Its as if I put the these emotions on a rocket ship to mars.

This way no one knows them, and they can all be free,

And no one will have to feel these things, but me.

Charity Woods, 2003

Defeated


This poem I wrote when I was in a very dark place in my life. So much was going on that I felt overwhelmed. As I re-read it, I remember those dark times and how all felt so hopeless. Thank God I’m out of that place and now I can look back and see just how far I fell into the darkness and depression. I remember wondering who would even care if I still existed, who would even notice my absence. I was alone, I was tired and I was on the brink of giving up.

I’m so tired of always fighting,

I’m tired, worn out and weak,

Who really cares if I exist,

I’m just called a whore or freak,

When I am too weak to carry on,

Who will pick up my sword and shield,

“They” are ripping me apart,

And to “them” I bow my head and yield.

This is my existence, no use fighting now,

I have dug my six foot grave,

For once in this miserable existence,

Am I forced to willingly behave.

As I gaze off in the distance,

The end is near, so I look to the ground,

I’m grasping for anything, anyone?

All that I ever loved, is no where to be found.

They have forgotten this war I wage,

They have just stood by for the show,

As the sword pierces my heart I yell,

Now I’m finally free from this woe.

Brick by Brick


The following poem was one that I wrote several years ago when I was told we were getting a divorce. The finality of it set in. I had been a wife for so long, I hadn’t even realized how to be just me. I hope that it inspires others that may be going through the same thing.

At once I saw no fault in your eyes,

Never thought you were capable of lies,

My heart beat faster when you were near,

I never thought that feeling would disappear.

My heart had wings, flew to cloud nine,

I was so happy you were all mine,

Your expansive knowledge amazed me,

From my past, I felt you saved me.

But throughout the years, bricks in hand,

You showed me how you take a stand,

With ever hurtful and painful memory,

You started to build what now you see.

I started to watch you closer still,

And analyzed what really I fee,

The mortar laid thicker with each lie,

I saw our love had started to di.

The pain and hurt so full inside me,

Suppressed who I was meant to be,

I forgot who I was, I assumed your new role,

But in the mirror I saw it taking its toll.

This wall is building around my heart,

The blindness of love is breaking apart,

Alone with myself, I find no comfort,

I’m screaming inside, “Abort! Abort!”

I push against this wall, I want out!

I’m tired of the negativity and doubt,

Like a bird in a cage, I want to be free,

Of this wall you’ve build up around me.

I can’t breathe, I’m starving for true love,

I get up the courage and put on a glove,

Now fighting for my existence, Its on now!

To your feet no more, will I ever bow.

One by one they start to fall down,

No more in your lies will I surely drown,

You can lay it on however thick,

But I will fight you forever, Brick by Brick.

By Charity Woods, 2011